In another life
by MarryMeMelody
Summary: If Jude hadn't entered Instant star..
1. I Am Your Artist, Your Drunk Artist

Piano ballad music drifted through the bar. The tender clank of the piano, as the notes dancing through the air, ticking her ears. The voice of the singer, a murmur in the background. The lyrics of the lonely, and the lyrics of the loved.

Jude recognized how different this really was for her. Rather than being surrounded by the roar of guitars, the screams, and the lyrics of the revolting youth. The questionable shady characters wandering

in and out. The scent and aura of musty, pierced and inked punks.

Also the joy of walking in The Chain and being able to smell the bathroom from wherever you were.

Jude loved The Chain and all, she just didn't want to be around anybody right now. She didn't want to be in her house, and she didn't want to be around her friends.

This was different, being in a classy bar.

"Another miss?" the cute bartender asked.

He had short brown hair that was slightly scruffy. A little bit of a 5'O clock shadow, and when he smiled dimples danced at the corners of his mouth. He had dark chocolate brown eyes, that just dared Jude to flirt with him.

Brilliant.

Too bad she couldn't see him.

It seemed no matter how many times she closed her eyes. No matter how many naps she took. No matter how much mind numbing television she watched.

She couldn't get Jamie out of her mind.

The guilt her best friend made her feel is rotting out her insides. The longer he stayed away, the worse it got.  
>She loathed hurting Jamie-she loved and trusted him. Sure, Jamie's not a boy anymore. He had grown into a man. He's more than worthy of Judes affections.<p>

Jude could hear her heart, as if it was whispering secrets to her. It told her Jamie was not the one. Does that mean she doesn't love him? That the years and years of building their relationship had been a waste of precious time?

When Jamie gave her the promise ring, the ring he believed one day would be their engagement ring,

eventually their wedding band. That thought was enough to terrify Jude. Enough to make her crush the most important person in her life with the painful sting of rejection.

Maybe Jamie was the one, she was just too young. She hadn't even gotten famous yet. She was still struggling to get a decent record deal with her band Judes Mind Explosion.

Maybe she needed to be free and wild, to be the rockstar shes meant to be first. Maybe shes making a huge mistake pushing him out of her life forever for something as short lived as fame.

Jude lifted her head and pushed her glass forward. Rejecting the bartenders flirty smile with body language, and getting straight down to the point.

"Another." she said lowly with a short nod, keeping her blue eyes glued to the cherry wood counter.

"Get me one of those too" She heard a male voice say. He had silently climbed onto the stool next to her. Jude didn't care to even lift her head. She was feeling too depressed.

"let me guess..boy troubles?" the voice questioned her as the bartender came back places the glasses filled up with to the rim with ice bathing in alcohol.

"Well aren't you smart." Jude said sarcastically lifting her head up, strands of blonde hair falling in her eyes as she takes a sip, and gets a quick sideways glance at who was next to her.

He seemed familiar..

All she could really register is that its an attractive man with blue eyes and brown hair. She didn't know it was Tommy Q the famous ex boy bander. Not that Jude would even really care if she did know. He wasn't her kind of celebrity.

"So mystery man, do you always come in here to harass heart broken blondes?" Jude asks with a daring smirk.

"Only musical ones" Tommy said matching her teasing.

Jude turned her head to take in the full view of the handsome stranger next to her.

"How did you?-"

"I saw you and your boys playing on the street the other day." Tommy replied before Jude could finish her question.

"Ah..Well glad to know you enjoyed it." By now she had recognized this person, He was little Tommy Q. Her older sister use to be head over heels in love with him. She was always running around the house singing that terrible Boyz Attack song

_you picked up the pieces, and put me back together again_

"Well, now I'm suppose to say thanks and ask for an autograph from you, and tell you I was a big fan back in the day?" Jude guessed with a suppressed sigh, finishing up the last of her drink and toying around with the ice left in the glass. Her metal ring clinked against the sides.

"Uh no, in fact I'd like it if you pretended I was a mere mortal instead" he said with a small smile

"Oh? Fine mortal man." Jude almost laughed

"So, almost stranger. What are you doing in here all alone on a Saturday night?"

"Just trying to escape reality..You?"

"dido." he said in agreement.

"I thought you were a rich celebrity? Why would you need to escape?" Jude raised an eyebrow.

"Forget about this, why don't you tell me exactly whats going on over another drink" Tommy nudged the bartender to pour Jude and him another.

She hesitated, but lifted the glass to her mouth. Her full lips brushing against the rim.

"Its my best friend..well, boyfriend.." she took a sip of the strong alcoholic beverage than muttered

"ex boyfriend.." barely loud enough for Tommy to hear.

"What did he do?" Tommy assumed it was his fault, after all the males always wrong.

"It's not him its..me. I'm total chicken shit." He laughed at the way she described it.

Jude sighed.

"He gave me a ring..not like..an engagement ring..more like a pre-engagement ring..I know I should be happy but.." she trailed off staring at her silver star shaped ring she always wore as a distraction.

"But your not ready, or not sure hes the one. Right?"

Her eyes lit up "Exactly! I mean I'm only eig-i mean twenty-one." Jude reminded herself she was in a bar she used a very illegal fake ID to get wasted in.

Well, wasted was the wrong word. She wasn't wasted..she was drinking out of depression?

"Well,Its good you didn't say yes. Marriage is a permanent thing, once you get married you will never forget it...even if you divorce." Tommy winced, thinking about his own personal ghost of his past, Porsche. He had to admit, he still feels really bad about what he did to her.

Plus, deep down he was also glad she was on the rocks with her boyfriend. It's not as if he goes out looking for pretty girls on the rebound..He didn't have any intention of bringing her home. He didn't want sex..He just felt this uncontrollable urge to help her. He wanted to see her smile.

"You married?" Jude asked, She thought she might of heard something about that on one of those stupid celebrity news shows about him..

"Divorced actually..working in the same office as my ex-wife" Tommy finished up the last of the drink in his glass, dropping the glass down on the glossy table with a thump.

"Rough."

"So Miss Mystery, whats your name?" Tommy looked directly at Judes facing, forcing her to meet his gaze. She noticed his tousled hair, his eyes...She felt like she could stare at them forever. It looked as if an angel came down from heaven using the sky and ocean to paint the most perfect shade of blue she'd ever seen. Than his lips..they were a little bit over full for a man, She just wanted to be able to feel them softly pressing into hers, but his jawline kept him from being less pretty boy, more manly. He wore a simple leather coat, which was a guilty pleasure Jude had. She loved a man in leather.

Basically, I'm saying hes hot

Well, forget about the stupid romance novel crap, lets get back to the story.

"Jude, Jude Harrison." She held out her hand, letting it hover there waiting for Tommy to take it.

He took her hand "Okay, Jude, Jude Harrison. I'm Bond, James Bond"

Jude bite down on her lip, trying to suppress a laugh. She failed and laughed anyway.

"Well Mr Bond, I have to admit, you're a lot cooler than I thought you'd be."

Tommy raised his eyebrows. "Well, now that I've helped you..would you care to play me another song?"

"...here?"

Jude looked around the nearly empty bar. There was an abandoned piano, the singer and pianist from earlier had left by than. There was only 5 or 6 other people left. Jude wondered what Tommy meant.

"Can you play anything on piano?"

"Well..yes but-" Jude's interrupted by Tommy waving his hands.

"Than what are you waiting for superstar, get up there and play me a song!"

Jude felt nervous, its wasn't as if she had trouble singing her songs in front of anybody. She just felt like she would be disturbing everyone else.

_Well..You only live once _

Jude walked timidly up to the piano, testing the keys and tinkering with them a bit while she took a last sip of her drink, placing the clear glass on top of the piano She felt eyes on her, people glancing up curious as to what she was doing.

She started playing the intro to her song _I Don't Know If I Should Stay_

"wheres my will.." She sang, her voice angelic. never out of tune. As smooth as silk for your ears. The notes appearing to come out perfectly and effortlessly. It was clear she was born for this.

Tommy smiled to himself, he was impressed. The song was beautiful. He hadn't disappointed her that's for sure.

By the end of the song everyone still left in the bar had been watching her. When she finished they all clapped. Sure, it was no crowd of a million cheering for her. Only a few faint random claps and encouraging smiles from strangers. That was enough for her.

Also, considering she was a little drunk by now, she was surprised she hadn't messed it up.

Jude swapped the glass from the piano and stood up accidentally leaning over to the left, almost losing her balance. Than popped an ice cube in her mouth and walked back over to Tommy.

"Rhat Rude Fou Dink" Jude say with a mouth full of ice cube.

"You've got the deal." Tommy said standing up, about to leave.

"Veal?" She spit the ice cube into her hand.

"Deal?" she asked him again.

"I forgot to tell you..I'm also a record producer for G Major records. I'm going to tell my boss about you, call me tomorrow and I'll arrange a meeting to sign the contract." He tucks the card into Jude's jacket pocket.

"Don't lose it, and remember..call me" Tommys disappeared out of the door. His figure walking down the streetlight lit sidewalk. By the time he was out of sight, It finally hit her.

Jude was stunned.

She was too happy to drink anymore, she had just landed a record deal on accident.

Wait until sped, kyle, and wally here about this!

She felt like she was walking on air, luck was truly on her side tonight. All that struggle..to think she'd been helped by someone like Little Tommy Q. If she wasn't so grateful she'd be a little embarrassed.

The years of practice..now..G Major records. She'd almost scored a deal with G Major records.

She inhaled and exhaled. Reminding herself to stay grounded. She hadn't landed the deal YET.

Who knows how evil this record label could be. What if they don't let her write her own songs? She shuttered at the thought.

She reached into her pocket and took her cheap silver cell phone on, Trying to dial her band mates number. Failing many times, she gave up.

"I'll tell them tomorrow when I'm sober..now I just need to get home.."


	2. Its Not Electric Therapy, Yet

_The story should get better as I go on, I promise.I'm trying to make it more detailed, and more well written. i'm trying..i really am. I'll finish this no matter how long it takes. Sit back for a long series! It's gonna get really awesome and dramatic..But right now its more setting up the story__. __**WARNING:**_** I KIND OF GIRLY'D OUT IN THIS CHAPTER.**

**Reviews make me smile as long as you're being nice.**

(_Jude's POV)_

Why would I have a crush on Tommy?

Hes an ex boy band member. He'd been nice when he got me the hook-up to G major. i had to admit he was pleasant to be around. Maybe, i was smiling a little too much. Paying attention to the small perfections of Tommy. The small imperfections I'd even notice. They became adorable when he wore them right.

When he'd pass by with heavy bags under his eyes to get another coffee. His shirt would be a little wrinkled, his mouth turned down into a dazed frown. He'd chug down the coffee probably not even tasting it.

When he came to the studio earlier than usual, with an undeniable passion for music. An undeniable spark he had in his eyes when he got a good idea.

The best part was when he talked to me. Causally teasing me, causally moving a strand of hair from my face. Ever so causally touching my shoulder or arm, unaware of the surge of excitement and electricity that went through my body when he did. It made me feel..warm.

He always seemed too busy to talk to me often. I rarely had an excuse to talk to him since I joined G major a week ago.

I want to slap myself. Was I no better than Sadie?

Being a twelve year old plastering his posters all over her walls and claiming she already had the names of their children picked out? It was just a harmless one sided crush.

At least, I think its one-sided.

Deep down, I think my infatuation with this beautiful, rich, famous man with just my brain distracting itself from Jamie. Whose visiting some great great aunt in new york I guess. I've tried to contact him. But he just..

Of course he was using this to avoid me, I didn't want to push him away forever. At least I could channel this into creativity?

The meeting with my new boss Darius, was a little rocky. He didn't seem to care for me and the guys at first. He could see our talent and potential, but was unsure.

Until Tommy, convinced him we were "something special"

Boy did I hope Tommy was right.

The band and I did our first official session on Tuesday after the meeting on Monday. Darius had assigned Quest to produce Jude's Mind Explosion.

Well, I suppose its better than getting Tommy, as much as I thought he was sort of totally sexy. I doubted his musical skills, knowing he probably couldn't produce a rock band to save his life.

I stirred my sugar and creme into my coffee mug, glancing down at my shoes. From the corner of my eye I could see Tommy and Karma talking about her new album.

I admit, I really hate the way Tommy and Karma are looking at each. They look like they're..flirting almost.

I winced at the image of Karma and Tommy together, I also winced at the hot coffee burning my taste buds. Adding a dry uncomfortable texture to my tongue. I placed the mug down on the marble tabletop and walked past Tommy and Karma and back into the studio.

Tommy had glanced my way for a second, giving me a playful smile than looking back at Karma.

When I walked into the studio the guys were spread apart. Speed playing with his guitar, Wally his bass, and Kyle using his drum sticks on speeds guitar case.

Quest was nowhere in sight.

"Guys, where did quest go?" I asked them,Wally looked at me and pressed his lips into a hard line. Kyle just kept playing his guitar case, Speed looked up, pulling on his guitar strings. Gliding down them with the ease of a blues player 3 times his age.

"His phone rang, than he said he had to take it-" Suddenly quest came into the studio, shutting the door hard enough for us all to jump.

"I have some bad news, I'm not going to be able to produce the album." Quest said in a serious tone.

My producer? Whats going to happen to our album?

"But what's-" Quest cut Kyle off

"I got you a new producer, starting tomorrow Tommy will produce you guys." I felt a surge of excitement, followed by a stab of worry.

"Lord Squinty Frow?" Speed said with a questioning look.

"Uh-hes pop." I said in a tiny voice.

"Actually, he's better at producing rock. Ex-boy band member or not, He knows his stuff. It'll be great. He's one of G majors top producers." I wasn't convinced, but shrugged in agreement anyway.

"As long as I get to play music." Kyle said. Everyone else had silently agreed.

"Okay, now I need to go home and pack for my trip. I'll probably see you all around?" quest left the room, shutting the clear thick glass door and walking off.

I could see Tommy hovering around the coffee area stirring a cup. His blue eyes met mine for a second, I smiled softly and he returned the favor. It felt like he was holding onto my heart, putting an intense pressure on it.

"Okay Jude, I'm going to have you record the vocals on this mic here soon." Tommy ordered me.

"First, I need to finish up recording the drums, now Kyle go a little heavier on the tom and less on the snare. Got it?" Kyle nodded, i had to admit. He knew what he was doing.

"Now.." He ran to behind the mixing board, leaving Kyle alone in the booth. He had headphones on, playing the rest of the instruments in his ears.

Tommy gave a 'one-two-three-go' and Kyle played.

"Hes a little bossy isn't he?" Speed said to me. I shrugged.

"I think he just wants us to do the best we can?"

"Pssh, pretty soon he'll be telling you how to write your songs." Speed made a disturbed face.

"That won't happen" I tried to reassure him putting a hand on the table we were both leaning against. We were so close to Tommy..thank god he had his headphones on. I felt uncomfortable talking about him.

"I'm just saying Jude, look out or he'll turn you into the next producer manufactured pop star."

"Yeah right, I'm not changing for him or anybody." I said confidently, Kyle was playing to hard and dropped one of his drums sticks in the process.

I could tell this was going to be a long session.

(. . . . . . )

"First track recorded for the first JME album." Tommy sat next to me, tired but content. I smiled at him. His tired blue eyes looked at me with glee,a small grin on his face running a hand through his tousled hair.

"I thought we'd never get it done." I said with a sigh placing my notebook on my lap, Speed, Kyle and Wally left as soon as they finished their parts,wanting to catch much needed sleep. The vocals were the last thing we had to record.

"First track is always the hardest, the vocals sound great by the way." Tommy stole my notebook.

I was almost too busy paying attention to him to notice.

I blinked

"HEY! Quincy hand me the notebook and no one gets hurt." I threatened with growl, okay not really a growl, but I wish I could of growled.

"Working on a new song?" he asked, I blushed as he read the lyrics over. I didn't like when people read my lyrics or heard by songs before I was certain they were perfect.

"Where does it hurt?" Tommy read the title out loud, I blushed deeper.

"Its not done I'm just..toying with it." I said playing with my thumbs, looking at my feet.

"Why don't you play it for me?" he grabs a near by acoustic guitar, holding it out to me.

I stared at it for a moment. Than took it.

"Fine. If you're going to be so pushy about it." I gave him a teasing scowl and placed the wooden guitar in my lap. I laced my hands on the frets and started playing the first few bars.

_where does it hurt?_

_Tell me cause I understand_

_the words of a heart_

_beating like wings in my hand_

_we can't hide_

_we'll never lie, I'll always see into you_

_theirs nothing wrong_

_with coming up empty and cold_

_staying too long_

_and trying to change rocks into gold_

_I've been there too_

_I've wasted myself_

_and you were there for me_

_so whenever you crash_

_wherever you land_

_that's where I'll be_

"And for every endless midnight theirs a..." I stopped playing.

"like I said, its not fully written out yet." I said timidly. The air felt electric at that moment. I felt like I was expecting to see literal sparks floating around in the air. I strained my eyes expecting to see something, but instead I just saw Tommy. Looking at me with his crystal blue eyes and a smirk. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something,than shut it. My eyes bulged out, my skin felt like it would going to melt off. He pressed his lips in a hard line.

He took the guitar back wordlessly. He strummed the exact chords to the song flawlessly.

"_And for every endless midnight, theirs a sky full of broken stars, and they'll always be a place for you, inside my arms. Where does it hurt." _

I froze and lifted my eyebrows with bewildered eyes. I felt an intense excitement. I wanted to jump around like a kindergartener. As if there was an invisible magic blowing up my heart in my chest. An amazing ah ha moment. I wanted to jump around like a ridiculous rabbit. Tommy caught my express and gave me a teeth baring smile.

"That is perfect" I gasped,i had been struggling to find the perfect chorus. He just found it for me.

Tommy looked at me with soft eyes and a crooked grin. Will I ever get use to his eyes on my face, staring at me so casual. Yet affecting me in an intense way.

"Okay. Now take this and play the first part again." He handed me the guitar and stood up and went towards the keyboard. Flipping it on, and switching it on a normal piano sounding setting.

He added a soft piano to the song.

We stopped playing.

"We could add that to the second verse of a song, like built it up...You know?" I said nibbling on the pen cap, writing in the new lyrics Tommy had thought up.

"and maybe some drums and pads..." Tommy trailed off, I glanced at the clock and laughed.

"Maybe we should wait until tomorrow"

Tommy glanced at the clock and snapped his fingers, having yet another "ah ha" moment.

He pushed his chair up a little closer to me, his arms swinging around like a joyful, and muscular rag doll. The wheeling of the chair gliding along the wooden floor. He faced me, staring at me intently. I wondered if I had something on my face, because this was different than usual. It felt as if he was looking past my appearance, looking through my eyes and into my heart. I reacted to him as if I was already deep in love with him. It was like I knew him in a past life, or have been longing for him many life's.

His fingertips softly touched my cheek tracing an invisible line. His tips, roughened from playing guitar on my soft cheek. I felt the blood rush to my face. He leaned in a little closer. My heart pounded wildly, I could feel his warm breath tickling my soft lips as he hovered there, taunting me. Our breathing pattern was directly in sync, it felt like we were two halves of the same person. I longed to pull him close and press him into me, so I become the whole perfect person I was meant to be. His eyes tracing my features. My eyes traced his face over and over, as if I was worried I'd accidentally forget it.

He looked as though he was going to kiss me, I unglued my eyes from his and looked at my lap. Trying to break the invisible golden rope the gods were using to pull us together. I have will,damn it. I'm not a puppet for you cupid.

"i should get going.." I stood up, and didn't look at Tom's face. I was afraid to see his expression.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow" he said casually. I grabbed my black coat from the back of my chair, and almost ran out of the room. When I got into the hallway I finally let myself exhale. I felt starry eyed. Planting my head into the wall closing my eyes. For a moment, imagining his lips pressed against mine.

Than I shook my head, get a hold of yourself girl. You have a boyfriend..he may be mad at you at the moment, But you do have a boyfriend.

I didn't know anything about Tommy after all, besides the fact we have amazing musical chemistry.

But that's all, he was just our producer.


	3. Damn My Sister

_This is kind of a mini filter chapter. The plot does progress a little bit in this one though..I promise it will get better if you stick with me through this! Love you XoXo _

The unforeseen future, unpredictable, exciting, mysterious. It seems as if there was wicked hags sitting on a magic cloud cutting strings and twisting strings, fating together those who aren't meant to be together to cause total destruction and chaos.

I blame these hags, evil, wicked ugly hags, for the reason Sadie and Tommy, clearly not meant for each other, on a date right now.

I pulled the black and white newspaper down a little. Looking underneath my dark sunglasses at them. I know what you're thinking, but I'm not purposely stalking him.

I suppose the fact I'm wearing an all black trench coat, sunglasses and a wig. Pretending to read a newspaper, so my face is covered. Going to a diner and only ordering a cup of coffee seems strange.

I have a reason, I just haven't thought of it yet.

I leaned in and hear Sadie giggled and twirled her soft blonde hair, batting her eyelashes and giving an inviting smile. Tommy smiled in response.

Crap, I missed what they said. That's what I get for having an inner monologue.

I strained my ears, taking a sip from my pale coffee mug.

"So Tom" Sadie leaned into Tommy, reaching for his hands. Forcing them on top of his.

She said something in Italian.

Tommy gave a flirty smile. I almost broke my coffee mug.

Would I dare admit to myself that I might-want that to be me-just a little?  
>Don't tell anybody.<p>

If this was a fairytale, I wonder who I'd be-the princess or the witch? Maybe just the jealous sister.

I can live with only being friends with the prince.

I dropped my coffee mug. It fell on the floor with a loud crash. It shattered into glazed white pieces of cooked clay against the marble, swimming in a puddle of hot coffee.

Everyone, including Tommy and Sadie turned to look at me. I slide down in my chair hoping I had a recent radio active accident I forgot about that would suddenly give me the power to turn invisible at will.

"Sorry." I said as the bus boy rushed over to clean it up, and the waitress gave me another coffee.

"What a klutz." Tommy said

"I think that klutz is my sister..Jude!" Sadie jumped up, a fierce look of anger in her eyes.

Well, time to make my exit.

I slid out of the booth. Not even bothering to look at them, I half ran towards the back door, only to be stopped by running into a waiter returning half empty glasses and plates to the kitchen. It spilled on top of me, I slipped on something and fell straight onto my back. Someones lemonade fell on my face.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I was afraid to look at them.

I'm such an idiot..

"You're such an idiot.." Strange..the voice in my head is starting to sound like Sadie.

I opened my eyes and saw Sadie looking down on me. I stood up bringing the broken plates and empty cups with me and stuffing them onto the waitresses tray.

"I'm really sorry about that." I gave the poor waitress a small smile as she walked away scowling at me.

"Ah Jude, gonna explain why your here? Dressed like that?" Sadie gave me a look, I ignored it.

"I-i-i" I stuttered, than saw what looked to me a miracle. Speed was walking into the diner at that very moment. I thought on my feet.

Tommy stared at me from the table with a white coffee cup almost to his mouth. I could see him wearing multiple rings on his strong hands. His blue eyes looking at me with a nonchalant almost casual stare. A smug grin tickling the corner of his mouth.

"for your information.. I was waiting for speed.." I said with a smirk pointing him out. Past the family walking in at the moment, and to the cute dude wearing a Nirvana t shirt. Sadie turned around and saw my messy haired guitar player. He hadn't noticed us yet.

"Dressed like that?" she pointed at my little get up.

"Well, me and Speed are going to a costume party, god Sadie you really think the world revolves around you?"

"Wheres his costume?" Sadie rolled her eyes at me.

"I don't have time to explain to you" I gave her a look. The same look she gave earlier-the 'you idiot' look. Hopefully, she believed my brilliant acting.

"Now excuse me,Speed and i have to go-Sadie" I gave a brief nod towards Tommys table.

"Tommy" .

I walked away as fast as I could bare while being casual. When I got to Speed he looked at me and opened his mouth.

"Jud-" he started, but I pulled him out the door before he could say anything.

Once outside the sun blinded my eyes as I squinted into the sky. It was a perfect sunny day. With a few fluffy white clouds of course. The cars race by at the busy intersection.

"What was that about? I want something to eat!"

"You can't eat there-eat somewhere else today."

"But-Jude!" I silenced him by stuffing some dollar bills into his palm. He looked down at the green paper in his hands than shrugged and walked towards the burger king across the street.

I sighed with relief and quickly started walking back to the studio to work a little.

I almost got caught..or they did catch me. I walked out of that situation with some dignity I think.

I saw a couple little kids point at me and giggle as they rid by on their tricycles.

I looked down at myself, I was still covering in food and my wing has stiffened up from lemonade and lost all smooth shiny texture.

Well at least no one would recognize me this way.


	4. I Know It's Over

_MarryMeMelody here, I'm going to take some time to thank my reviewers. I have 4 (woohoo success) Hopefully I can slowly build it so this story is super popular and such! Anyway._

_Mwilkin_

_AnnW90_

_Tiff8_

_LoveLover010 _

_THANK YOU! I'M GLAD YOU LIKE/LOVE IT YOU BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL AMAZING PEOPLE. _

_If you leave a review I'll thank you next chapter_

_**in case you're wondering, in my story Jude's hair/look is basically what she looks like through out season two. ** _

Jude pulled out a cigarette leaning against the outside of G major. The brick walls decorated with the art of the street urchins. The cars raced by. Jude lit up her cigarette, the end lighting up to a glowing orange color. She took a puff, and let the taste of tobacco fill her lungs.

"You are aware you're slowly killing yourself with that right?" Tommy had silently leaned next to her, chewing on a strip red licorice.

"Each second we live we get a little closer to death anyway." Jude shrugged taking another puff.

"You don't seem like the smoking type Harrison, whats wrong?" Tommy questioned.

"..its Jamie.." Jude said in a hesitate voice.

"Jamie?"

"My boyfriend..well..Ex..well..no..not ex yet."

"Oh, what he came back?" Tommy asked, his eyes unfocused; staring into the distance.

"No, its-he hasn't tried to contact me at all..I didn't think he meant he'd-" Jude felt tears coming on, _don't cry girl.._she thought to herself. Jamie would come back..unless he found someone better.

Jude felt her heart breaking in her chest. She knew it was her fault. All of those stones she threw have finally broken the glass house.

She's gotten herself in too deep into a relationship. They can't go back to being friends-the boy she use to play every one of her songs for, the boy who had said he loved them all even though some of them were terrible. The boy who had always believed in her, the one who loved Jude, the real Jude.

He was gone.

"Jude, Please don't cry..Jude.." Tommy pulled Jude into an embrace. His chin rested on top of her head. He could feel her silky hair against his face. He could also feel warm tears staining his shirt. Jude didn't really care, she had been swallowed into his arms. She felt warm, and safe. She couldn't even remember what she had been crying about at that moment. It was just him and her. It was as if the entire world had melted away.

That nothing mattered, It didn't matter that the cool autumn air was nipping at their exposed skin, or that Tommy had stepped in some gum earlier today, and he was pretty sure it had dried at the bottom of his new shoes. They both felt hazy.

It didn't even matter that Tommy was dating Jude's sister.

"Ahem..Tommy, you mind getting your hands off of my sister."

Speak of the devil

Tommy and I jolted away from each other abruptly. I crossed my arms together and Tommy scratched the top of his head, messing up his hair a little.

"Uhm..Hey..its my girl." Tommy said. Faking softness, and giving Sadie a quick peck on the lips. Sadie raised an eyebrow with a snarly look on her face.

"Right. You're lucky I have somewhere to go right now. But please restrain yourself from holding my sister while I'm gone." Sadie turned her back on us, and stormed away. her heels making clinking noises as they hit the sidewalk. Her strains of bleach blonde hair swaying down her back

With the moment totally ruined, Jude and Tommy gave each other an awkward grin.

"Well, We should head to the studio, its almost 3.." Jude say, shifting her weight.

Jude had quit. She told the band she was sorry. She didn't know what to say to them. Jude was going through a meltdown. Jude didn't call Tommy and explain, she didn't tell Spied why either. She refused to leave her apartment for two days now

Whenever someone called, she either didn't answer or answered and said she didn't feel good.

When Tommy arrived back from his trip to New York he hadn't exactly been pleased about Judes sudden absence.

"What do you mean she just quit?" Tommy asked Darius for the hundredth time.

"She just quit. T, I have things to do. Can you have your temper tantrum on your own time?" Darius glanced at the clock then at his wrist watch.

"Did she say why exactly? What brought it on? I come back and my artist is gone!" Tommy exclaimed, his palm smacking down against Darius's wooden desk.

"Do you have her address?" He asked.

Darius sighs

"I'll give it to you if it gets you out of my office."

Tommy knew what he should do.

Jude stared at her knees, extending her legs to get a look at her bruised legs. Her once porcelain, almost barbie doll like long legs were now decorated with colorful reminders of what happen.

"Here, Jude" Jamie handed her a glass of water. She took it and drank it. She felt numb, enable to feel, her movements felt emotionless and stiff. The water gushed down her throat.

Jamie sat down next to her and leaned against the wall.

She didn't feel sad. She didn't exactly feel happy either. Theres nothing like being in so much pain you can't even feel it anymore.

It's how she's felt since it happen. She hadn't moved from her spot since she got back to her apartment/ rehearsal space. The band never comes here anymore. The rent's so cheap because of the neighborhood It'd been easy to keep it up since she got her signing bonus.

She pulled the raggedy blanket she and Jamie had slept with around her shoulders. It was Jamie's old spiderman blanky. She and Jamie use to play camping with it when they had sleepovers. When it was okay for boys and girls to have sleepovers with each other. You know, it wasn't weird yet. The good ol' days.

Jamie watched Judes face as she thought. Jamie has rushed here when he got her hysterical phone call.

"Jude.." Jamie lifted a hand and stroked her soft arm she concealed with a large gray sweat shirt.

Jamie could only see the marks on her legs. He could even see a couple on her face. One bruise on the left side of her cheek she could hide with her hand is she wanted. Then a large cut on the right cheek, near her nose.

Jamie clenched his fist. He wanted to hurt who did this to her. He wanted to make him wish he had never been born. He would do anything to cause them pain. He wouldn't kill them because he wanted them to suffer.

Death would be too easy on the bastard.

If only there was a way he could make sure the guy was damned to hell and torture for the rest of eternity.

Jamies violent thoughts were interrupted by a pounding on the blue double door entrance. It echoed through the entire apartment and its high ceilings. The noise bounced around.

"Jude? Jude? Are you in there? Its me, Tommy?" Tommy said, praying this was the right place. He had almost gotten lost twice trying to find her apartment. The neighbors weren't exactly the friendly and helpful type.

Judes lifted her head. For once, her eyes looked like they had life in them

"Tommy?" Jude murmured then sat up and half ran to the door.

_Tommy? Whose Tommy? _ Jamie thought while pressing his lips into a line. He didn't move from his spot.

Jude yanked the doors open. Tommy stood there, Blue eyed and dressed in leather. He examined Judes face. She looked as if someone broke her soul. Her eyes seemed so..empty. She had purple circles under her eyes. Her skin looked sickly pale. Her eyeliner dried into a line down that had once ran down her face with her tears. Her red lipstick was also smudged out to the side.

Then there was her bruises and cuts. It all looked at least a day or two old, but fresh none the less

Tommy took in the image. Jude-his Jude. Look what had become of her.

"Jude..What-what happen?" Tommy said with a gasp, looking down at the marks on her legs then back at her face.

Her eyelids concealed her empty eyes like a curtain. Her gaze fell down to the floor. Her bangs falling over her face.

"I-I don't want to tell you.." She wrapped her arms around herself.

Tommys hand instinctively reached out towards her. He wanted to comfort her, but stopped himself and put his hands in his pockets instead.

"..you can trust me.."

"I do..I'm just..ashamed.." She turned her back on him. She didn't feel right facing him. She didn't feel right being around anybody truthfully.

"..Hello?" Jamie had slow snuck up, taking a look at this Tommy guy.

"Oh, Hello. My name is Tom Quincy. I was Judes producer" Tommy held his hand out for Jamie to shake. Tommy took it, feeling wary of him, and slightly threatened. He didn't like the way Jude responded to him.

"Hello Tom, I'm Jamie..I'm her fiance."

Cliff hanger.


	5. Spiders In Autumn Thunderstorms

_**Arina907** Glad you love it! Really! I hope you're not dead by the time I post this. _

_**I'm going as fast as I can**_

_**Lets jump into this shall we.**_

Tommy tried to process exactly what was going on. He felt Jude's big blue eyes on his face. As well as Jamie's jealous and possessive ones glaring at Tommy.

Tommy tried to hide all emotion from his expression. Jude stood there slumping against Jamie's body. Jude didn't want Tommy to see or find out about it this way.

Tommy opened his mouth, trying to dig within him for words, and find a way to respond.

"Tommy..Lets go outside and talk alone.." Jude said then looked at Jamie and held up a finger before he could interrupt.  
>"Just give me a minute" She reassured Jamie, and leaned up on the tips of her toes to give Jamie a quick kiss on the lips. Tommy grinds his teeth together as he shuffles back into the hallway. A bit uncomfortable with watching them kiss no matter how brief it is. Though he'd never admit it to Jude.<p>

Jude turned her attention away from Jamie and tried to fake a smile. She walked out into the hallway. Suddenly, she feels like she almost cares again. She cares enough to try to fake happiness in front of Tommy at least.

Jude wished she had pockets. Instead she just wrapped her arms around herself and looked Tommy in the eyes. He could see she still held a great deal of pain and emptiness within them.

"Can we go all the way outside?" She asked him. Tommy nodded and walked down the stairs slowly.

When they got outside she felt goosebumps cover her legs. She was still wearing a sweatshirt and shorts that could easy pass as men's boxers. It was just a little chilly, nothing unbearable though.

The streets had been decorated with broken brown leaves scattered along the sidewalk. The city never had the pretty colorful kind of fall. It always had the chilly, ugly, cloudy kind. The kind where all you saw was clouds and smashed up brown leaves and bare dead looking trees.

It was barely September.  
>Jude pressed her back into the wall and closed her eyes. Tommy stood there anxiously with his hands in his pockets.<p>

"So, you going to tell me what's going on now?" He said in a husky voice.

"Jamie and I are..getting married and.."

"I got that part. But why the sudden change of heart? And look at you? What happen?" Tommy felt frustrated. Was it something he did? Maybe he shouldn't of agreed to go on that date with Sadie. Then again who says she even cares about him, or that he even cares about her?

"I was raped." Jude said, his face clean of emotion. She felt uncomfortable saying it out loud. She grew a little paler, her expression colder. Her knees even buckled as she leaned further into the wall.

Her back slide down the brick until she rested weakly on the ground.

"Jude..I.." Tommy's mouth fell open. He reached his arms out towards her. She ignored him. He felt defenseless.

He went from defenseless and hurt. Full of pity, full of sadness that this had happen to her. If he was there protecting her this wouldn't of happen. Someone let it happen.

Well, it wasn't his responsibility. He still felt guilt demons clinging onto his heart. How could he have let this happen?

"Jude..Did you call the police? Who did it? I'll find him I swear-" Tommy was to angry to finish. His fists balled up, his skin stretching over his sharp bones. His features going from soft to angry.

Jude was surprised. She had never seen him so upset. Over her too? Most would give simple pity. She'd been expecting pity if she told someone. Tommy just couldn't be like everyone else I guess. He had to get angry.

"I don't know who did it..Please don't..don't tell anybody Tommy! I don't want anybody to find out!" She exclaimed.

Jude felt her body twist with down right panic. She shot back up standing firmly towards Tommy.

Tommy let in a loud breath, almost like an inward sigh. Slowly calming down.

"Why did you leave the label?" He asks, not looking at her face.

Jude bit down on her full lip, wrapping her arms around herself tighter.

"I don't know..I just felt..I felt like I wasn't good enough to make music after this.."

Tom's arched brow line dropped lower. He felt flickers of fury boil underneath his skin.

"Why would you think that? Your going to let this guy stop you from making great music?" He said with a disgruntled expression. Jude looked at her shoes hiding her eyes behind her bangs.

"Jude, you can't let him take your entire life away like that! You make great music,and the world deserves to hear. Your going to let this sicko take that away too?" Tommy exclaimed, his eyes full of fire.

"Jude..Look at me." He grabbed her chin. Almost forcing her eyes to meet his. He did it a little rougher then he intended it to be. Jude felt her heart rate spike up. Her breathing got faster, it seemed as if it got louder too. Which was almost embarrassing being so close to Tommy.

"I know you. I know how much music means to you. You're going to quit because someone abused you? I hate to put it to you darling, but that's what music is about. The struggles, the emotions. Don't give up on your life just because you want to live in the safety of some guy your not sure about when-" Tommy dropped his hold of Jude's face, and looked to the side. Closing his eyes, and placing his hand over his vision enjoying the darkness it brought. He didn't want to finish that sentence. Since when was he such a coward?

"I'll have Darius make sure you're able to get back in the studio when you're ready..I'll be waiting...Jude"

Tommy turned his back on Jude resting his hands in his dark leather pockets. He walked away from her.

She felt pain engulf her heart. Why was that image so hard to look at? She hated watching him walk away. The puzzle of his words unraveled and fell in her mind. It made sense, he was right. Why would she quit? Why did she agree to marry Jamie? She was being weak. She didn't know about Jamie. She loved music more then anything in the world...Almost anything.

Then there is what that vile,vulgar, sick individual did to her. She wanted him to pay. She wanted revenge but she knew what she wanted was also unattainable. After what he took from her, why would she let him take her music? He won't let her win. She'll become famous. She'll become more powerful than he ever will be in his entire life.

More impotently, she had realized Tommy was right. She'll get back to music..eventually.

Jude saw them there. Crawling with their long legs and midsections that looked like a few mishappened circles on top of each other. They were about the size of a quarter; maybe a nickel. Deep ebony black, and squirming together on the floor. There were probably about five spiders there.

Jude had been watching them. Sadie always screamed when she saw spiders. Jude's always thought they were gross, but small ones weren't scream worthy. Although these ones were kind of big, they didn't scare her at all. In fact she almost liked watching them. She wondered if they were black widows. She had read somewhere after a female mates with a male spider she turns on him and eats them.

Jude smiled to herself, that's kind of awesome. She wonders which spiders were male, and which were female.

The thunder crackled outside as the window shook with it. She tightened the blanket around herself. The clink of water hit the bottom of the metal bucket in the corner. They should of said this place leaked.

"Jude." Jamie said from her left.

He held out a mug of hot cocoa towards her.

"Its really good! Come on, have some." Jamie gave her a cute smile and nudged her. She let out a small laugh grabbing the cup.

"Thanks Jamie." She said lifting the mug to her lips. The cocoa went down quick and burned her taste buds.

"hot!"

"Whoops. Sorry about that. I should of warned you." Jamie said moving a little closer to her as it thundered again.

"So, what are you going to do?" He asked her drinking from his own cup that said 'lifes a beach' in blue letters.

"What do you mean? You think we should go dancing in the rain? Its thunder storming." She said teasingly.

"No, Jude. That's not what I meant. You can't hide here forever with me, as fun as it is to have you totally to myself."

Jude bit down on her lip as she moved her gaze back onto the spiders. She watched them when she thought about things she didn't want to think about. She was using them to keep her mind from wandering to unpleasant things.

"Jude, stop watching the spiders and reply."

Jude sighed

"I don't know Jamie, the worlds a scary place.." That was an understatement

"I know, but you're important. You're special. You need to leave and show everyone how special you are. You're going to change the world..you can't quit music."

Jude turned her head towards Jamie. Jamie's eyes meeting hers.

"I know...I"ll go back to work tomorrow." she said sullenly. Jamie smiled and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Clearly not noticing her expression.

"That's my girl..Future Mrs Andrews."

She took a glance at the engagement ring on her finger. She can't believe she agreed to this, but she has to go through with it now.

Jude Andrews.

.Jude Harrison..

Jude Andrews might take some time to get use too.

Jude Quincy?

She smacked herself on the forehead and mutter curses under her breath. Jamie gave her a strange look, but went back to reading his book saying nothing.

Why had she thought that? Truly she was losing her mind.


End file.
